... Because everything I learned about living a good life, I learned in my kitchen.

I won't always show you recipes, because I don't measure. You can't really measure life, so how can I teach you that?

On our journey I will share stories of self-reflection as we cook and reminisce. The kitchen remains to be my "hall of epiphanies" . Stay with me as we explore the depths of our cooking pots, and of our soul...



Thursday, September 29, 2011

We don't know what we have, until we lose it?














Tonight is hard night.  I want to be with you.  I just don't know what to say?  My heart hurts.  So many thoughts running through my mind.  So many memories too.

At times when I feel like this, I try to channel the moments where I felt...right.

You know what I thought of a little while ago?  I was wondering what I wanted to write to you tonight (I really never know until I start) and I thought that tonight I just wanted you to sit with me.  No need for words.  Sometimes just knowing that you're there is enough.

And of course, the thoughts that followed were of my grandmother and my mom...  Towards the end of Mamita's life, she lived in Jackson Heights, Queens.  My mom and I lived in the Bronx.  Mamita would take two trains and commute for over an hour, in poor health, just to be with her girls.  She knew that we needed her.  We just needed her there. 

As a young girl, I tried to be sensitive to the feelings of my loved ones but as many young ones do, I may have missed some signs.  I may have missed some moments when my mom needed me to just be there.  I would be back and forth from my room to the kitchen, stop for a while and back again. 

Looking back, I remember one of the first things that my mom would say to Mamita when she got in and settled.  Mamita would come in the kitchen and ask if she could help my mom.  My mom would smile and say, "No sientate ahi... quedate conmigo"... "No, sit there, stay with me" .  I understand that now.  I understand that so well.       
I understand my mom now.  She used to ask me the same, and still does when I go back home. 

Silence is such an ambiguous element...  sometimes it drowns and confuses.  Other times it speaks volumes and reinforces.  

It's funny how all things come full circle.  Earlier today, a friend emailed me a recipe for my favorite soup that I emailed him a year ago, suggesting that I should write about that...
 Later this afternoon, my mom referred to a post I made last night on Facebook's Sofrito Disciple page where I asked, "What meal would you want to be remembered by?"  

My mom asked me what I would remember her by the most and I said two things.  First, her pork chops with rice and beans.  You have to take my word for it, sounds simple but the flavor that she packs into that is amazing.

I would get excited climbing up to our 4th floor apartment because when she would cook that I could smell it as soon as I came into our building and it was so incredible.  The second was the same soup that my friend reminded me about today.

What amazes me about that is that soup is what I cook when I'm sad.  Don't feel bad about that!  Sadness brought me to you.  If you recall our first meeting Reader, was the night of Hurricane Irene.  I made that seafood soup and poured my heart into that, then told you about it.  That was my very first entry...  That brought me to you... Asopa'o De Camarones.

Random, I know.  What is it about soup anyway?  Is it a metaphor for how we assimilate pain?  We take beautiful, fresh ingredients and throw them in hot boiling water.  I feel like that some times.  I feel like that now.  Then I remind myself, that in the end that soup becomes warm, nurturing and revitalizing.  And so do we.  Life sometimes breaks us down and in the end nurtures our soul to make us better.

Before I started writing tonight I was reminded of a life lesson that I despise, the cliche "You don't know what you have until you lose it".  I don't like that saying, because I know just how true it is.  What wouldn't I give to once again be at my grandmother's door and greet her as I always did?  To take my grandmother's face, with her soft skin, and kiss her forehead again while she looked at me so lovingly? 

It's true.  You don't really know what you have, until you lose it. 
So learn.   

Tonight, I'll leave you with that very simple but treasured recipe...  My spin on Puerto Rican Ham soup...  


Sopa De Jamon
 (You can use any meat for this really...)

 Buy a ham steak.  They go for under $4. 
We also chop up a few pieces of salami.  We usually use the Spanish-style but go with your preference.
Cut it in cubes and put it in a pot, med high.
Chop onions, celery, peppers (different colors are nice), carrots and potatoes.
Add two table spoons of Goya pitted olives
Mix everything.
Add about 1/3 cup of reccao’.  Add 2 envelopes of Sazon with color.  Add Oregano. Basil is optional but I like it. 
Add a can of tomato sauce 
Add Water (pot 3/4 full)
Add some fideos or noodles when the soup is almost complete, but not too much or it will dry your soup out.



Let simmer until veggies are soft.  Add additional salt and pepper to taste.  You can garnish with fresh cilantro and shredded asiago or parm cheese (just a little).
This goes extremely well with Tostones (twice fried plantains- see previous recipe).  The warm flavors married in the soup with the cripy saltiness of tostones.  So delicious.  



I hope you enjoy this,,,  it brings back so many soothing memories for me. 

Muy Buen Provecho!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Rules Still Apply When You're Alone.




"Rules?  What Rules?  You said there were no rules in love or the kitchen?".

I write about my family, and I can.  I was blessed with beautiful, complex and loving people that make up the myriad of who I am and how I came to be.

I write about cooking, and I can.  Nearly every night, day...I pour my heart into my dishes no matter how simple or intricate they may be.  It's how I seem to explain life to myself.  I create beautiful things that I fill with love, by breaking them down into the smallest and most simplest components, and then piecing together something lovely, and from my heart.

I write about love, and here's where you got me.  Truthfully, I can't.

In that regard, like a very delicate souffle that the dedicated chef has to master with patience and grace, I've not yet succeeded.   Not only have I not succeeded, I've grown tired of watching it either burn or quietly fall flat, and have put away my pans.  I can't say that I've given up, but accepted that I've a few more dishes to master before I can attempt that one... Love. 

It seems to me that love is the simplest and most complex of all emotions.   Ask the man who has secretly loved his neighbor for all his life, or the woman who thinks she's not beautiful enough for the man she loves, or your dog who waits patiently every day for you to come home and each will tell you that their heart swells with undying love.

When you and I talk about love, Reader, I don't mean to sound hypocritical.  Have you ever daydreamed about the perfect home for you?  Maybe it's a beach-side bungalow, or a chateau in the south of France?  Have you ever gone as far as to design how the rooms in that home would look and feel?  In your mind, have you walked barefoot in it's gardens?

In some regards, this is how I view love, and the notion of a soul mate.  With the passing years, and the lessons that have come to me it's become clearer to me what it is that I want, and what would feel like home to me.  Notwithstanding, that there is a possibility that like that dream home, it may never come to be.

For me, the difference in love is knowing your worth balanced with what you have to offer another.  Life presents many opportunities to explore love, but if we see that something is not for us, unfair to you or that other person then I feel that we have to somehow make peace and let go.

Those of you who have been fortunate to find the equilibrium in love, then for you it becomes a little different.  Once you have found it, and you know that it's fair and just, then fight for it!  Unlike the rest of us, don't let go.

And for those of us who walk alone, I ask that we still treat ourselves with the love and dignity that we would show another.  Take care of yourself, and of your heart.

I try to do just this in the simplest ways that I can.  Writing, and talking with you is something that I do that makes me feel good, for example.  Cooking myself a lovely meal is another.

I hear some people say that they don't like to cook for themselves.  I do because it takes heart.  To make a dish for me, how I would make for someone I love requires special care.  It doesn't have to be elaborate, but it has to be done with love.

This weekend my kids were with their dad but I still made myself something that I enjoyed.  I hope that you do too.

Chuletas Sofrito-Style
Pork Chops with Peppers, Onions & White Wine 




As we usually do, we would have left a pack of previously marinated (with Sofrito, Lime, Adobo, Sazon and Oregano) meat out to thaw.  Once I got home, I sliced up some fresh carrots.  I love the way Mamita would steam them and then add a pat of butter and salt.  That brings back so many memories for me...

 First we sprinkle a little olive oil in our pan, add in the pork chops and let them sear. Then we add in our red onions and peppers.  Let's add in some white wine and watch it sizzle!

After this, I added in one can of tomato sauce.  Mixed with the wine, and flavor of the meat and veggies it makes for a delicious sauce.

Before I even started the meat, I had my rice cooker going.  This top rack allows you to steam at the same time that the rice is cooking.  I added scallion rolls that I buy at the Asian market, and steamed those.  They're perfectly cooked and fluffy when you take them out.


With a lovely glass of wine, I toasted to my blessings and  had my dinner, enjoying it as much as I could until I was satisfied.  I had also cooked enough to put away some lunch for the following day.


Sometimes, before we worry about finding love, or keeping love we have to show ourselves some love too.

 Muy buen provecho!



Monday, September 26, 2011

Fall Series, Part IV: What Does A Woman Want?

Ladies, so we spoiled the guys with some delicious pernil sandwiches for Sunday Night Football, we baked a delicious apple pie for dessert, and we still have a bunch of apples left over from our apple-picking trip.  Now it's your turn.  I'm going to give the fellas some ideas of how to spoil you...

I've heard men ask the question that they believe has no answer, "What does a woman want?"
And when I've tried to answer my male friends, I seem to confuse them even more.  I'm very "old-school" and traditional, yet still independent and set in my ways.

I can't speak for all women, because like the fingers of your hand, we're all different.  I can only speak for myself, and my observations of the sisters in my life.

A woman wants to feel yours, but free enough to be herself.
A woman wants to be treasured, but wants to cherish you as well.  It's your actions that show her she's loved, (but tell her while you show her every once in a while too).
And love her in such a way that when she's away from you, she can close her eyes and all five of her senses will bring her back to a memory of you.

Too many of you think that we want material things.  I want the simple things actually.  It's the way we laugh in the supermarket aisle about the silliest and most random things, while shopping for groceries.  It's the way you look when you're fixing something of mine that broke... or the way you remember things about me that even I forgot.  Or how on Sunday mornings, I have no reason to get up if you're by my side.

We want some of the same things that you do.  We don't want someone to give us happiness, we want you to share in our happiness and we want to do the same with yours.    

We want a communion with another human being that knows us, understands us, accepts us, but also brings out the best in us and gives us the courage to keep improving as life presents challenges. 

I'm adamant that what gets me about a man is not how he looks.  When in love, and we close our eyes, don't we remember that person's mannerisms, their facial expressions and their own unique ways of expressing themselves more than anything else?   

Think about it, if love was driven by physical appearance, we'd only need a picture of our beloved to be happy.  We miss the way the person feels when we embrace them, their laugh, the silly way they pick up a fork 25 times before actually taking a bite, during dinner...  Have you ever missed a person, and missed their imperfections?  When you met them, you noticed that flaw, but now when you miss them, you miss exactly that?  

Make love matter.  Show the ones you love how you feel, even with the slightest gestures.  Make it happen.  Life is so short.  This is why I I choose to show love in the kitchen, with every bite I say that I love and appreciate you without the fear of overcooking something or too much salt... Sometimes I won't get it perfect, but I will keep trying.    My kitchen remains a reflection of my heart...



For a special night...
Apple Slices dipped in Amaretto-Caramel Fondue

In a fondue ceramic dish, or microwavable bowl, melt half of a pack of store-bought caramels. I love the Werther's Caramels.  If you do this in the microwave, you have to watch it closely.  There is no exact time as it varies with microwave.  Once it starts to bubble a bit, take it out.  Mix with a spoon.
Add in one shot of Amaretto di Amore 
 Add in a shot of whipping cream
Mix well together and heat for another few seconds.
 If you have a fondue set, place the melted caramel in there...

The caramel fondue will go beautifully with sliced apples, as a glaze for cake or as a dip...


Along with the Apple Cider Martinis, it makes a great dish for spoiling her....



Hot Apple Cider Martinis  

 In the supermarket, check the aisle where they usually keep hot chocolate or tea.  You will find hot apple cider packets.  They're usually sold in packets of 10-12 servings.  You make it the same way that you make tea, boil hot water then add.  Mix well.
In a heat-resistant pitcher, mix about 2-3 servings of the Hot Apple Cider, mixed with 1 cup of Vodka, one freshly juiced lemon and a cinnamon stick.  Mix well, pour and serve hot.  Mouth-watering.

Warm Cinnamon-Spiced Apple Sauce
This is not your typical supermarket apple sauce.  It has a rich, warm and thick texture that lingers and smells delicious.

Peel and core about 10-12 apples
 Boil until apples are soft, then mash apples.
Add in 1 table spoon of Cinnamon, 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract, 2 Tablespoons of butter, a pinch of nutmeg, salt, ginger, 1 cup of sugar or Splenda.  Mix well, cool for  a minute or two then feed a warm, delicious spoonful to someone you love.




Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Fall Series, Part III: The Making of Warm , Delicious Apple Pie


The apple.  By far one of the most meaningful symbols in our civilizations.  At first glance, merely a fruit.  In biblical terms, temptation.  In philosophy, wisdom.  Academics, appreciation.  Medicine, health.  Fatherhood, adoration.

For me, an apple represents tradition.  An especially important one in my family because it's a tradition that I began.  Apple-picking isn't a Latin-Caribbean custom, but like with many traditions, in my family it evolved as a result of where we live and what surrounds us.

My family and I are making the most of living in Upstate, NY . As drastically different from The Bronx as this may be, it's a wonderful place to raise children.

Once September rolls around I'm reminded of some of the many reasons why; small wonderful schools for the kids to go back to, and a vast array of apple orchards everywhere, eager to yield their most prized possessions.  The apple.

It wasn't until I chaperoned my daughter's kindergarten class on a local apple-picking field trip, that we walked with a tour guide and I got to see the many products that are made from apples.  That inspired me every year thereafter to not just take my kids apple picking, but to also celebrate the apple for it's many meanings and uses...  Stay with me on this series as we explore some of my favorite tributes to the apple!

Cinnamon-Spice Apple Pie

To fully appreciate the making of Apple Pie, I love to pick the apples....  From the trees to my dish, the apples truly feel like such a gift.

Once you're home, it will take about 6-8 apples depending on the size. The apples need to be peeled,cored & sliced.

Place the apple slices in a mixing bowl.  Juice half of a fresh lemon and mix in with the apples.  It's not a bad idea to also sprinkle a pinch of lemon rind (finely grated lemon peel)  in there too for a secret boost of fresh flavor.

 Now you're ready to mix in your spices:  
3/4 cup of sugar
one tablespoon of Vanilla Extract
a pinch of salt
1Tablespoon of Cinnamon, or more to taste
 1/2 teaspoon of Allspice
 a 1/4 teaspoon of Nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon of Ginger
1/4 teaspoon of Ground Cloves

2 Tablespoons of Flour  
(this will help soak up the water released by the apples, and provide the pie filling with a rich texture).


By the way, most of these spices can be purchased at local Dollar Stores, and can be used for many recipes, in particular, our Caribbean recipes.  Watch and see...

 Be sure to mix spices thoroughly and well. This is the part that my daughter loves to do!





 Although making a fresh pie crust is not difficult, I don't enjoy the process of rolling out the dough.  I prefer to buy the Pillsbury Pie Crusts, that come ready made.  It must be thawed out and room temperature.
Be wary of store brands.  I have found that not all of them stand up through the unrolling process when you're taking it out of the package.  I have never had a problem with Pillsbury and so I choose not to risk it.  Line the bottom of your pie dish with one crust.

Time to fill your dish with your seasoned apples.

 Unroll the second pie crust (2 come in a package; top & bottom).  Lay out flat on a non-stick cutting surface.  With a knife, trace designs on your pie.  This not only looks pretty, but also helps aerate your pie.

Lay your top crust to cover your apple filling now.   
Seal the edges around the dish with your thumb.  Now, trim off the excess dough from all around the edges.

Take that excess dough, and roll into a ball, then roll out flat with a rolling pin, on a non-stick surface.  You should now have a flat sheet of rolled dough. With a small knife, trace and then  cut out shapes to decorate your pie with.  I love to make leaves, and I even trace the detail on them.  You may ask why am I manually cutting them out as opposed to using a leaf-shaped cookie cutter?  Because, leaves all come in unique shapes and sizes.  If I cut them and shape them myself, I can also make them all unique...

 Lastly, melt 2 tablespoons of butter and coat the top of your pie, to provide added flavor and flakiness.

Time to put that delicious pie in the oven...

Although, I started the tradition of apple-picking in my family, I have to thank my Dad Pat for teaching me to make apple-pie as a kid.  It was one of the first things that we ever did together in the kitchen.  

As an Irish man, having married into a Puerto Rican family it must have been hard for him to introduce his cooking style.  We're traditionally set in our ways.  Dad just has a way about him though!  

I was 7 years old when he married my mom, and spoke no English really.  He must have sensed my curiosity in the kitchen because I remember him building a bridge with me that way.  

He also knew that I had a sweet tooth.  First came Apple Pie, Pineapple-Upside Down Cake (which my diabetic grandma, Mamita would sneak, or send me to go get her a slice), and then we graduated to chocolate cake.  

Once we connected with baking, my Dad taught me about how the rest of the world eats.  He had lived in Germany, Turkey and Vietnam as a soldier and learned to appreciate the very best food of so many different cultures.  

My mom and Mamita are the reasons why I feel connected to the kitchen.  My Dad is the reason why I opened my arms to world cuisine and cultures.  

All three of them are the reason why I learned to share happiness in my kitchen.

Was that our kitchen timer going off?  I think our pie is ready...  Come on, let's sit together and have some warm apple pie.  Do you smell the spiciness of the Fall in the air?  I'll grab us some hot apple-cider too.  We'll have some pie while I cook up some other Fall recipes for you.  

...Muy Buen Provecho!

...So tell me...what does the Apple symbolize for you?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Fall Series, Part II: Sunday Night Football... this one's for the fellas.

Ladies, come on, don't get upset.  Generally speaking, Sunday Night Football is a sacred night for the fellas.  It is for some of us ladies too, including me.  I love football!

Like most sports fans, I enjoy sharing the experience of watching a good game, but I don't necessarily want to talk during.  It's a good time to chill, relax and let loose.  I especially love spending time like this with the type of friends and companions who need minimal entertaining.

Has this ever happened to you?  You are spending time with a friend or loved one, you're both in the same room but individually occupied, maybe each reading a different book or so.  A couple of hours come to pass and you suddenly realize that you had a great time with that person, just sharing in the same space.  This is also works great for sports!

We'll have our time coming up soon where we'll show them how to pamper us in the Fall.   Tonight, we'll learn a quick and easy way to make this Sunday night special for the guys.  It will look a lot harder than it actually was, so feel free to cash in on a back-rub after the game.

Sofrito's Caribeño Sandwiches

On Saturday, I bought a $20 pork loin in the market.  You can see it's huge.  I cut it in half for two portions/servings.  This is so cost effective!  One half made 8 large sandwiches.  Wait until you see how the sandwiches come out.  

There's no way you can get 16 large pernil or pulled pork sandwiches for $20, or even double that.  This is what I mean about buying in bulk, doing prep work ahead of time, and vacuum-sealing your marinated meats.  Over time, this saves you so much money, and time.  My vacuum sealer easily paid for itself over time.  Easily.


Friends, this took me less than 10 minutes.  I washed the meat in vinegar and water then placed in my slow cooker.  I juiced one whole lemon and added onto the meat. 
I added a spoonful of Sofrito and a spoonful of mashed garlic.  On Sundays I buy freshly peeled garlic and puree it, then store for the week.  
Then, I added in a few fresh bay leaves.  You can add in your favorite types of herbs.

 
 Lastly, I chopped some red onion and dropped it in with 3/4 cup of white wine.


 It's Saturday night, turn your slow cooker on LOW and go to sleep, will ya!  Tomorrow is the big game.  Wait until your honey wakes up on Sunday morning!  The aroma will be so enticing that he will want to skip past bacon & eggs and get right to dinner.  ...Little does he know what you have planned for him!


Before you go to bed, don't forget to freshly seal and store the remaining half of the meat in the freezer for another meal.  All your prep is done.  
 So two weeks from now when your in-laws call and say they want to come over tonight, easy-breezy.  Take this lovely package out of the freezer, thaw and you'll be ready to knock their taste buds out with this deeply infused marinade.  You'll thank yourself later for the work you did today...

SUNDAY NIGHT!  GAME NIGHT!

On Sunday morning you can turn down the slow cooker to WARM or turn it off altogether.  Keep it covered.  Once you're ready to make dinner, lightly drizzle your pan with olive oil.  While that gets warm, take a fork to your meat and break it up.  The meat will fall apart because it's so tender and juicy.  Transfer the meat onto the pan.
Technically, you don't have to do this step because the meat is cooked.  I like to because it gives the meat a sizzled texture.

This is where I lightly add Sazon and Adobo to taste... let it sizzle for a few more minutes then turn off the pan. 

 Here, I added some Sofrito to olive oil, and coated my eight Kaiser rolls.  I let those toast in the oven for just a few minutes, while I chopped up some Avocado, Tomatoes and Lettuce for my sandwiches.  I added one slice of cheese, and assembled.  I especially love the way the avocado and tomato taste with the meat, inside the sandwich.  Your mouth just won't know what to do with all that flavor, and all that freshness.

You can serve with Tostones, Sweet Plaintains or Fried Yams with some garlic Mojito on the side, and an ice-cold beer. 


Go ahead, give the fellas some love, and let them watch the game...  One of America's favorite past times, with a Caribbean twist. 

Meanwhile, you can think of ways for him to spoil you too. Stay tuned...

Muy Buen Provecho!  
 





Fall Series, Part1: So how do you like them Apples?

We picked this apple for you...

Like with all great life, and cooking experiences, we'll start with our ingredients.  By now you've seen how ingredients in their simplest form inspire me.  Life is basically the same.  

As I live, I surround myself with good people who have strong values and believe in kindness and hard work.  That's so important because like all human beings, I expect to have my weak and sullen moments sometimes.

It's only been by the grace of God, my loved ones, and having always surrounded myself with truly good people that I've continued to live a life that I feel blessed for having, and proud of living.  

 As any mother, I have high expectations for my children.  In doing so, I've equally committed myself to setting an example for them.  There's one lesson in particular that is always tough to teach.  I always ask my kids to "stay on the narrow path, difficult as it may be, so true and wise...".  The narrow path will always lead us to the Most High...
...Looking up toward the Most High...
This is the lesson that even I struggle to learn as I teach it.  Sometimes it would seem so much easier not to do the right thing, or to give up but in the end I think of not only what I owe my kids, myself, but also my parents and grandparents who've struggled and sacrificed so much so that we could have a chance. My mother always asked me to look at myself in her mirror, and benefit from her mistakes.  I teach my kids the same.

I've learned that when I feel lost, I need to take a step back and look at the world with a new set of eyes.  Sometimes that set of eyes is my camera lens, sometimes it's my pen when I write, and other times it's my conscience when I sleep.
Always looking at life from a different angle, in order to understand it better...
That's usually how I come across the ingredients that truly add value to my life; Love, Virtue, Honor, Family, Friendship, Sacrifice, Truth, Faith, Magic... Art.  None of these have been easy to find, but sometimes when I close my eyes and remember the lesson, or the mistake, that brought me to finding one of these virtues, I suddenly understand the meaning of life. 

This weekend, my family and friends went on our Fall apple-picking trip.  We're fortunate to live in Upstate, NY, surrounded by so many lovely and majestic orchards!  For the years that I've been doing this, this year I felt it to be the most magical, for two reasons.

First, my son who is now a man, and I did not expect would want to come apple-picking with his family anymore, made it a point to make time in his busy schedule with college and theater rehearsals.  That meant to me that the traditions that we pass on as parents truly stick with our kids.  And that as adults, they still long to continue those journeys that we begin for them...and the families that they will have one day.
My boy & I
 The second confirmation of how meaningful this has become for my family after so many years of apple-picking in the Fall was when my daughter, with so much excitement, looked forward not only to the trip but to all of the things that we always cook with the apples we bring home.  In her own words, using the apples that we bring home in so many different ways makes us "feel connected to the Earth".
She's truly the apple of my eye...
In this Fall Series, my family, my friends and I invite you to join us as with our own hands we pick the ingredients to begin one of our favorite times of the year, together.  Watch as we try to make the most not only of the apples, but also our time together and the experiences that we share...

SD, my little one, my cousin Aisa and my best friend Lisette
Me & Lisette, walking on the narrow path...


Just about the cutest guy that I've seen up here in a long time...

I'm excited about the Pumpkin Seeds already!
I still hold her hand when we walk together

...because innocence makes life so worthwhile.
 
Grab a basket, Reader...  join us in the orchard...

*Special thanks to Aisa for the lovely photos!