The rain is dancing against the glass next to me.
A song that turns into a deep rhythm colliding with my heartbeat.
I look to my left, and capture my reflection.
I see a different woman than when I left you two months ago.
My eyes fall on my hands as I type this, and remember how many times in the weeks that have passed these hands have dried my own tears, or folded in prayers to Heaven.
I'm almost afraid to look to my left again. The woman that I see. She is lovely, and more graceful than ever. Like the phoenix, I feel reborn. So much pain, yet so much to be thankful for. The sun rose brilliantly, after the storms. And I rise with it. I rise.
In reality Reader, I never left you. You were in heart and in my thoughts. I stayed away because I only want to give you the best. How could I?
In two months.... my daughter had very serious surgery, with even more serious complications which landed her in ICU. I look back at how many moments I called my parents for strength, and my friends. If you don't believe in prayer, an experience like that will change you. That's for sure.
At the same time, I was dealing with changes in my career, moving into a new home, health issues with loved ones, and behind it all was my heart grieving a lost love.
I thought I was going to go crazy. People kept telling me to be strong and that it would all work out. My mom and best friend would always remind me to have Faith, in the deepest sense of the word.
I had experiences that forced me to look at Faith in the eyes. Faith is something that you know and feel with conviction. You put something out into the universe and you do not ever question the outcome, you only wait to receive it. And so it shall be.
I smile from my heart as I write because tonight, the moon has sent the rain to serenade me. To sing me a song of praise for believing. I stand a better, and stronger woman. My daughter is healthy once more, things have slowly fallen into place- one by one.
I always had faith. I find now that I just wasn't ready to receive the blessings that I've been asking for. I feel like the lessons were plentiful, and I just wasn't getting it so life got progressively rougher until I understood.
I understand.
I leave you tonight... there is a song against my window that I must go dance to... but I will be back to you once more.
