... Because everything I learned about living a good life, I learned in my kitchen.

I won't always show you recipes, because I don't measure. You can't really measure life, so how can I teach you that?

On our journey I will share stories of self-reflection as we cook and reminisce. The kitchen remains to be my "hall of epiphanies" . Stay with me as we explore the depths of our cooking pots, and of our soul...



Monday, December 9, 2013

A family of 2...

It's funny how life turn out sometimes, no?

I am such a "family" person.  I'm in my happiest state when surrounded with the people that I love, just doing the simplest things.  I love to just "be" and share the same space with a loved one. 

I grew up with a family and grandparents that I love so much.  My family members all had a deep influence on who I became, and how I appreciate life and my culture.

Sometimes, I feel badly that my daughter doesn't have that connection or those influences, immediately around her.  I moved away and made a life for us here because I thought it would be a wonderful place to raise a daughter.  She is surrounded by nature, has excellent educational opportunities and is exposed to a slower and more peaceful way of life.

Is it worth it?  I grew up in the hustle and bustle of New York City, in one of the worst neighborhoods in the Bronx, but I turned out pretty okay.  My parents kept me as safe as they could and instilled values in me to more than make up for what I was seeing all around me.  I had a lovely childhood, with wonderful memories.

What really brought it home for me was this past Thanksgiving.  We had a lot going on and were unable to travel down to spend the holiday with family.  I know how much she enjoys Thanksgiving so I decided to make a big dinner, with all the fixings, for just her and I. 

We were invited to spend the holiday with friends, and I considered it.  Ultimately, I decided to stay at home, with just my daughter and I.  Why?  Because I wanted to instill in her that although we are just  2, we are still a family.  A family of two. 

We had a good time chatting together while we were cooking, and we kept up our traditions.  For me, that was the most important part, that we were able to do that together.

As a parent, we can only hope that what we teach our children, and share with them, will be remembered. We can only do our best as parents.  One of the best gifts my mother has given me, is that she always talked to me.  She talked to me about everything and anything.

In so many ways, she prepared me for life.  There were times that I didn't completely understand what she was trying to get across to me, but later in life it made sense.  Because she talked to me, I was prepared. I didn't always end up doing things as she had recommended, but I had the valuable insight she offered to me, from experience, to prepare me to make strong choices when the time came. 

Last Tuesday night, we were having one of our usual "kitchen chats" as I cleaned up after dinner.  My daughter asked me why I'm strict.  

I took a sec or two to see how I could best explain. I told her that as much as I love her and feel responsible to her and for her, I feel the same love and accountability to the 23 yr old, 36 yr old, 53, 65 &  88 yr old person that she will one day become.  It's my job to love and protect all of those stages of her future self, even if she's not worried about them at the moment. I am. I care. 

You could SEE the light bulb come on over her head, she smiled and got up and gave me a hug. We talked some more. I think she gets it.


I pray that when my time comes, I made a difference in her life the way that my Mom has made a difference in mine.



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