The Rules Still Apply When You're Alone.

"Rules?  What Rules?  You said there were no rules in love or the kitchen?".

I write about my family, and I can.  I was blessed with beautiful, complex and loving people that make up the myriad of who I am and how I came to be.

I write about cooking, and I can.  Nearly every night, day...I pour my heart into my dishes no matter how simple or intricate they may be.  It's how I seem to explain life to myself.  I create beautiful things that I fill with love, by breaking them down into the smallest and most simplest components, and then piecing together something lovely, and from my heart.

I write about love, and here's where you got me.  Truthfully, I can't.

In that regard, like a very delicate souffle that the dedicated chef has to master with patience and grace, I've not yet succeeded.   Not only have I not succeeded, I've grown tired of watching it either burn or quietly fall flat, and have put away my pans.  I can't say that I've given up, but accepted that I've a few more dishes to master before I can attempt that one... Love. 

It seems to me that love is the simplest and most complex of all emotions.   Ask the man who has secretly loved his neighbor for all his life, or the woman who thinks she's not beautiful enough for the man she loves, or your dog who waits patiently every day for you to come home and each will tell you that their heart swells with undying love.

When you and I talk about love, Reader, I don't mean to sound hypocritical.  Have you ever daydreamed about the perfect home for you?  Maybe it's a beach-side bungalow, or a chateau in the south of France?  Have you ever gone as far as to design how the rooms in that home would look and feel?  In your mind, have you walked barefoot in it's gardens?

In some regards, this is how I view love, and the notion of a soul mate.  With the passing years, and the lessons that have come to me it's become clearer to me what it is that I want, and what would feel like home to me.  Notwithstanding, that there is a possibility that like that dream home, it may never come to be.

For me, the difference in love is knowing your worth balanced with what you have to offer another.  Life presents many opportunities to explore love, but if we see that something is not for us, unfair to you or that other person then I feel that we have to somehow make peace and let go.

Those of you who have been fortunate to find the equilibrium in love, then for you it becomes a little different.  Once you have found it, and you know that it's fair and just, then fight for it!  Unlike the rest of us, don't let go.

And for those of us who walk alone, I ask that we still treat ourselves with the love and dignity that we would show another.  Take care of yourself, and of your heart.

I try to do just this in the simplest ways that I can.  Writing, and talking with you is something that I do that makes me feel good, for example.  Cooking myself a lovely meal is another.

I hear some people say that they don't like to cook for themselves.  I do because it takes heart.  To make a dish for me, how I would make for someone I love requires special care.  It doesn't have to be elaborate, but it has to be done with love.

This weekend my kids were with their dad but I still made myself something that I enjoyed.  I hope that you do too.

Chuletas Sofrito-Style

Pork Chops with Peppers, Onions & White Wine 

As we usually do, we would have left a pack of previously marinated (with Sofrito, Lime, Adobo, Sazon and Oregano) meat out to thaw.  Once I got home, I sliced up some fresh carrots.  I love the way Mamita would steam them and then add a pat of butter and salt.  That brings back so many memories for me...

 First we sprinkle a little olive oil in our pan, add in the pork chops and let them sear. Then we add in our red onions and peppers.  Let's add in some white wine and watch it sizzle!

After this, I added in one can of tomato sauce.  Mixed with the wine, and flavor of the meat and veggies it makes for a delicious sauce.

Before I even started the meat, I had my rice cooker going.  This top rack allows you to steam at the same time that the rice is cooking.  I added scallion rolls that I buy at the Asian market, and steamed those.  They're perfectly cooked and fluffy when you take them out.

With a lovely glass of wine, I toasted to my blessings and  had my dinner, enjoying it as much as I could until I was satisfied.  I had also cooked enough to put away some lunch for the following day.


Sometimes, before we worry about finding love, or keeping love we have to show ourselves some love too.

 Muy buen provecho!